It is hard to be frisky and playful when you don't feel sexy. Not feeling beautiful, sexy or attractive seems to be a common issue in many relationships at some point for both men and women. We all feel insecure for various reasons. And it is not always about body image as many people would expect. Focusing on our body defects is our defense mechanism to avoid more subtle yet significantly more important issues.

Feeling Sexy is an attitude pure and simple. Achieving, maintaining and enhancing this mental state is the tricky part. Without a positive attitude and robust self confidence, it is all too easy to fall into a negative spiral. Rather than looking to reinforcing your sense of self worth, it becomes easier to accept, internalize and rationalize any evidence of personal failure or disappointment. But, if you explore your true sense of purpose you will gain the enthusiasm and passionate energy to quickly rise from this downward spiral. Instill within yourself a sense of purpose in life and you will automatically obtain the confidence and power to be and feel sexy.

To feel sexy you need to find your passion, pursue it and thrive on it with vigor and enthusiasm. Take time to relearn what you truly desire - uncover suppressed dreams and aspirations. Take a mini vacation or go some place completely different from your normal surroundings to stimulate creative thoughts and self reflection. Make an effort to rediscover you. The joy and happiness you create by investing in yourself will renew your self confidence, increase your personal power and energize your life. Feeling good about yourself will make you more attractive than ever.

When it comes to their physical appearance and attractiveness, most people forget that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We are conditioned to believe certain body characteristics are desirable. But our true sense of beauty is individually unique -- comprising a complex mixture of so many subtle nuances of shape, proportion, color and even movement. Unlike a piece of artwork, people stimulate more than our sense of sight. They dynamically interact with us physically, intellectually and emotionally. There are so many sensory variations. Everyone selectively focuses on specific features and characteristics that are important to only them. We filter out, selectively ignore and even imagine things. When someone finds you attractive, it will be due to a combination of many sensory inputs intermixed with their own shifting thoughts and feelings. This is not something you can ever hope to influence, control or fully understand. But you do have the power to influence your self, how you view yourself and how beautiful you feel.

Learning to ignore social conditioning about what is considered beautiful can be difficult. Weight (body fat) seems to be one of the biggest issues both men and women struggle with. Most issues are usually due to their perception of how others see them. Rather than worrying and stressing out about how others think (usually clouded by their own issues), focus on your personal health and fitness instead. With proper nutrition and regular exercise you will feel better while also increasing your overall energy and vitality. Combine this with fun and exciting recreational activities to enhance your emotional well being and your outlook on life and yourself will improve dramatically. You will discover that, with good nutrition, regular exercise and personal fun, your sexual energy will flourish and you will automatically start Feeling Sexy.

Some people may suggest that your partner should provide more compliments and loving attention to boost your self esteem. Genuine affection and appreciation are critical components of a loving relationship, but solely relying on another person for your happiness is self defeating. If for some reason the level of affection your lover provides decreases, your happiness evaporates possibly at the very time they need your support most. Then you both enter a downward spiral where negative moods and behaviors reinforce each other potentially destroying your relationship. Everyone has mood cycles but if you both raise your own self esteem, the dips are less intense and of shorter duration. And, combined, your relationship will have a greater potential for positive reinforcement and growing success.

The above ideas are not overnight solutions but are extremely important. There are some quick and easy things that can be done immediately to get you started Feeling Sexy again: