Would you like to get your Ex back? Were you dating someone wonderful, but you had a lot of problems and kept ignoring them because you didn't know what to do? Have you been so depressed you can't think about anything else?

If your Ex broke up with you, you may have committed some errors that drove the love of your life away. You might not have meant to. But not knowing how to date, or what it takes to sustain love, you can do a lot of damage.

Here are the unconscious things people do to push their love away:

1. NEEDINESS

If you want to get your Ex back, you can't do it by being needy

Even though you might be a great success at work, that is no guarantee that you know how to be successful at dating or relationships. You may be afraid to be alone. You may feel desperate and needy. But pitiful is not attractive.

To start dating your Ex again, your attitude needs a shift. Your desperation probably keeps you attached to your behavior patterns that don't serve you. Find something to look forward to in your life. Think about the following:

* Look for a hobby or activity that will give you some new excitement in your life.

* Find new reading materials that will inspire you, give you hope, and impact your thoughts.

* Establish new boundaries for old and new relationships, so you won't let people take advantage of your nice-guy personality.

When you do the above, you will not be so anxious for someone else to supply you with energy and make you happy.

2. NO FRIENDS

To get back with your Ex, you need to find new relationships.

Not having any friends is unattractive, as well as indicative that you probably expected your Ex to be everything to you. That won't work. If you want to get your Ex back and start dating again, you need to be clear about what you want and what you can expect from a relationship. You can't expect to find someone to make you happy. Happiness is an inside job. Further, you can't look to ONE person to meet all your human contact needs. Try the following:

* Reconnect with old friends and family members you have not had time for in the past.

* Reach out to new people and meet new friends in your new areas of interest. The optimum word is new. This is where you have to take action and get involved in areas of life that give you enthusiasm. If you can't think of any, consult with a counselor or a coach to help you find them.

* Tell people that you want to date and also get on some internet dating sites.

When you do the above, you will begin to sparkle with new energy. When you feel positive about life; when other people want to date you; and when all your friends are telling you how great you look, go ahead and contact your Ex to have a conversation. Start off by apologizing for anything you did. If everyone else has noticed how different you are, your Ex probably will too.

When you are sparkling with your own happiness, that is when you are most likely to get back together with your Ex. If you almost always have a smile on your face...go ahead. Ask your Ex for a date.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com Or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

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