Why is it that something as important as marriage is taken so lightly? What I mean is, we don't grow up knowing how to do much of anything, do we? We learn from our parents, we are taught by our teachers and everything else that we become, we learn. But...we get married to someone we know very little about and most of the time we haven't known them very long and yet we hope to spend the rest of our lives with them, happily. Something I will never understand.

All through life we learn from others and study subjects that will help us learn how to do things, accomplish a task or get better at something.

At a young age we learn to drive a car. We take lessons in school or we pay a driving school to teach us how to drive. We even take a test at the end to prove that we have earned the right to drive. When we learn how to knit we are taught the process by someone else because we are not expected to know, out of thin air, how to knit a sweater. We take the time to learn how to knit because we want the finished product to come out looking like a sweater not an unidentifiable piece of yarn. We imagine how we want it to be and we find the means of attaining that goal.

Do you see where I am going with this? Everything we know, everything we are, everything we dream, we are taught or we have studied it.

Someone teaches us, we read a book, we take a class, because again, its important to us that we get it right.

How come we don't spend as much time on ourselves or on our relationships and most important, in choosing a mate.

"For Better Or For Worse, Til Death Do Us Part"?

That seems like a long time for something for us not to put a little, no not a little, a lot of time into. But yet we don't.

And where have we learned the skills that make us an expert on something as important as finding a mate or romance? You are right, we have not learned those skills. I know I was not born with them.

Take a minute, take some time to invest in yourself and then in the mate who you think is the one for you. Do a little research. Ask a friend who you think has a good relationship, read a book or turn on a talk show (Dr. Phil or Oprah). Just putting in some time will get you some results.

Envision how you want your ideal relationship to be. Take as much time as you took to pick out that new dress, to arrange that new furniture, to buy that new car or to plan that vacation that took you a year to pay for.

Remember, if you don't think you are worth it, who else will? Put some time into finding love or that Mr. or Ms. Right.

Remember, anything worth having is worth working for.

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