If you're reading this article to find new ways to cheat as many girls as possible into your bed, to avoid feelings and meaningful relationships, to hide your real intention and personality, you might as well go back to your cold and empty life, as this will require more work than you're ready to invest even to get sex. If you're searching for deep happiness in a relationship with a warm, loving and smart person instead of a body alone, this will probably help you.

First of all, you need to know that women are not machines. There are no keys to press for instant effects or programs you can use to make her want you. Women - if you're not thinking about teenage girls, manipulated by their peers into believing that they should think and behave as men when it comes to sex - are as complex personalities with their desires, longings, fears and conditionings as hopefully are you. And usually smart and experienced enough to recognize empty act, masks and manipulative behavior.

So the first tip is: you have to mean what you act! That is, if you want to be seen as trustworthy, you have to be trustworthy. If you want to be perceived as warm, caring, and, yes, self-confident, you have to be so. And not only in the sole moment of approaching her!

When a man approaches me, my decision if I want to find out a bit more about him, is made in a second, almost before he speaks his first word. And it's made according to the lines and expression of his face, his posture and body language. It's not a conscious decision, but if I analyze it a bit, I would describe it approximately this way:

My eyes scan for very little detail signs of how this man feels and thinks about people and life generally, regardless of the mask he's trying to wear in this very moment. The lines of his face will probably indicate at least some general information about feelings and attitudes he spends most time in: are his eyes cold and empty, his lips rigid, expressionless or actually scornful? Is his body relaxed, tense with fear or aggression? Is his voice genuinely calm and warm, or he sounds like spitting words? All the little things that are almost impossible to act even at short terms, and especially for any longer time. We all know the power of these first impressions, that are based on long-term features you can't control!

If I decide to take a chance and invest some time to get to know the man better, I look further for more details: is he thoughtful, interested, supportive? How he talks about other people and behaves to them? Are his thoughts genuinely inspired, or he sounds like he's reading from a book? If he approaches me with a patronizing attitude like: "Women don't know what they want, you have to show them what they want" it's quite easy to recognize! But I also feel repelled by a pessimistic attitude and lack of self-esteem which normally results in lack of appreciation and true interest for other people too.

And when my decision is no, it stays so. No overwhelming self-confidence will change it. Actually, it will be perceived as disrespectful nagging and increase my dislike more and more.

In few words: you can hope for best with a self-confident attitude that comes out true self-esteem, which includes respect for others too, positive and active approach to life, and a genuinely warm, supportive character, not just temporary behavior.

If you want to show these qualities, I recommend that you start developing them right now! As they have to become a part of you, enough to be shown in your features and parts of your non-verbal behavior you can't control.

Sounds like work? It surely is! But, before deciding to return to short-term little tricks, consider that developing such an attitude, regardless of are you currently in a relationship or not, will bring you much deeper long-term happiness and fulfillment than any short-term sexual affair can.

Kosjenka Muk is a life coach primarily interested in researching and working with deep unconscious conditionings and self-sabotage. She's the author of the book "Emotional Maturity". She lives in Croatia, where she has a successful private practice. You can read more of her articles on her web-site http://www.centar-angel.hr

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